Date Like You Work

Although I am married with a new baby, I did my fair share of dating. I'm always  having conversations with my friends about the current dating landscape, the state of men these days, how time consuming it is, how hard it is to meet men and don't get me started on the criteria and expectations placed on these men once you do make it to a date. What I am about to say does not negate any of these things, trust me, I know it can be challenging.

I am also not saying that you shouldn't have standards, quite the opposite, in fact. I just want you to revise your standards and your expectations.

You see, I hear over and over again the things that men aren't doing. They don't call after the date, they don't make plans for another date, they did't offer to pick you up, they let you pay the bill when you offered…honestly, don’t offer if you aren’t genuinely prepared to pay…and if that is a deal breaker, then move on, don’t complain about it.

Ladies, ladies ladies... I know most of you operate in this badass mentality, where you don't need a man, you can do what you want and come and go as you please. You don't take any crap in the work place, you take initiatives to get things done and you make sure to position yourself for success, because if you don't do it, who will.

If that is the case, why are you still operating in the antiquated rules of dating? Why are you putting all of these out of date expectations on men and yourselves when clearly you have evolved. Why not put that mentality in motion in all aspects of your lives.

Before you rip me a part, hear me out. Just like you have changed to adapt to the current social climate, men are too. They are trying to figure it out just like you are. The good ones don't want to overstep, want to be respectful and supportive, but don't always know where that goal post stands from woman to woman. So, why not help them out.

It is ok to call first, to let them know what you want and like, to call them before they call you, to let them know you want them to pick you up. Give them the tools they need to succeed in a relationship with you. It is a heck of a lot easier to stop seeing someone , if they are not making an effort to do the things that you have expressed you like and enjoy; then to be mad about things they never knew was a priority for you.

I think it is ok to take charge in the beginning so they can take charge as you grow. Again, I am not saying lower your standards or change what you are looking for. I am simply offering a different way to look at things. 

Maybe you can take some lessons from the work place, and put them into practice in your dating life. 

Author: Randi