Conversations

Ever had a conversation with your friend and think to yourself; if anyone overheard this they would think...insert any absurd thought here! Well, we've decided that some of our conversations are worth sharing. So, enjoy!

CONVO 15

C: The other day I gave my Dad keys to my house and it made me tear up. Granted, I have cried 3 times so far this week and I am sappy but still, it was a proud moment.

R: I get it. It’s a huge goal of yours for so long and to be able to have it co me full circle with yo Daddy in the same city….that’s major sis!

C: Majorly expensive. I thought I knew broke until I bought a house & then learned otherwise. How are you sis? We have both been overloaded.

R: Details, details!!! DOn’t you just feel so accomplished (and yes overloaded)? I am good, and yes, we have both been burning that candle at both ends. My business which took me almost 40 years to start is a gift and as you know I am working on a documentary about Black maternal care, which is in full swing.. plus you know, my kid and husband. We are both IN IT.

C: In it to win it! Oh and it took you 39 years LOL. I do feel like a grown up. Like a real one, not a pretend one. I set some big goals for myself when I turned 40. It's a blessing to see them coming true. I'm kind of in awe that it's actually all happening. House, multiple businesses and still no love life. Go figure!

R: Yes yes, 39... lol well I always say, everything’s in its time. We’re all building blocks for the next level and best version of our selves. We are constantly evolving and so I know that it will happen.

C: It makes me think about expectations. How many times do we actually believe we will get what we want. I'm so often surprised when stuff works out but I also know my stuff always works out, even when it doesn't. So why am I surprised?

R: It is true that things always work out, just usually not how we planned it. What’s your favorite saying, you write in Pen, God writes in Sharpie. He may not come when you want him but he’ll be there right on time.

C: Yup! I love that saying. I hope he comes with a check next time because being a homeowner is expensive.

R:  Word...I’m trying to be like you.

C: Word.

CONVO 14

R: How ya doing?

C: I'm here. How are you?

R: Yeah I'm ok. Lots going on but hanging in.

C: That's good. Lots of good things happening in your world. Hopefully that helps balance out some of the mess. 

R: Either that or complicates it, Ha!

C: Is that the case? I've never thought of that

R: I'm on a call with no diversity where the other company is bragging about how diverse they are 

C: Deeeppp breaths. What the fuck. It's not a business tactic.

R: These people are talking crazy. Buzz words. 

C: Yup. Again, because we are seen as a fad but not taken seriously.

R:  It's all annoying.

C: It's super annoying. There's so much we still can't say. We still can't call them out on their bullshit the way they deserve.

R: Say that.

C: We have to choose though. We continue to code switch or we deal with their .... whatever this is. 

R: Yes we need those people pushing for change, but damn! But also we have to be open to real allies and not push them away, knowing and understanding they won't ever really understand..but how can we expect them to.

C: That's true. There are a lot of layers. We have to trust but we will forever be skeptical. We welcome and need white allies in order for change to come but they'll never understand. How do you resolve all that with all this pain? This entire country needs therapy ASAP. I don't want to push away anyone who is genuine but also I'm scared to trust it. We've been in style before and then it's all gone away. I pray it's different this time. 

R: That's exactly it. What would you think if we asked the girls if we could share our conversations for CTC?

C: I was thinking the same thing. We could let them approve the edit.

R: Yeah or change their names

C: Oh yeah that too.

R: But I was thinking it would be good for white people to see how we think and black people too LOL.

C: I was thinking that when you and I were talking and then I had the same thought with our girl chat, so yes. They need to see what we are thinking.

R: We can do both. 

C: Word

CONVO 13

R: Do Rona days seem shorter to you? I swear it was just Monday. 

C: I think it depends on the Rona day. Yesterday was mad long. The day before flew by. Please don't ask me for actual days of the week. I have no answers. 

R: That's true, I also don't know what day of the week it is... You've had a challenging week though, you posted about your dad being at the hospital, how is he doing now?

C: He is out of the hospital and home but has a lengthy treatment plan going forward and possibly heart surgery. It's one thing to know you can't go inside the hospital to be with them, it's another to sit in a parking lot for hours surrounded by others also sitting in their cars waiting on a word from their loved ones.

R: Oh no, when will you know if he needs surgery? That's a lot going on sis! These are definitely different times, and while it doesn't make your journey or concern any easier or lighter, it is a powerful visual to know you're not alone. This virus is really challenging our very existence, we, as a society, need to really reassess how we've been living.

C: It is powerful to know no one is alone. That's also why we started CTC! Hopefully we will know in the next week or two. 

R: Well we will definitely keep you and dad in prayer. Keep us posted! We are sending love and positive vibes your way. It is why we started CTC and it is a timely reminder, especially since we are heading into an anniversary, as you reminded me earlier. Interestingly, I don't think CTC has rolled out exactly as we'd imagined, but it has opened doors for us we would have probably kept locked before. I'm grateful for our platform and for you!

C: Aw, I'm grateful for you and this platform as well. It definitely hasn't been the Facebook for Women I thought it would be but I'm proud that we have created and continue to promote a safe space for women. 

R: Agree, if we help to put a smile on one woman's face, or make her feel like she isn't alone, we've succeeded. 

C: Yeah! Plus it's the foundation for projects that will expand on this platform and purpose in a MAJOR way.

R: Exactly. Cheers to our next big announcement, you'll have to stay tuned for the greatness!

C: Word

CONVO 12

R: Hey girl, hey

C: OMG I was just pouting and having a conversation with you in my head!

R: hahahbbabbabbba

C: True story

R: Tell me more about this conversation

C: The Event Life logo will be featured on some marketing materials for an upcoming event which is awesome except I don’t like the way the logo looks. It’s dumb small! I saw the draft when I was sick with the flu so I didn’t realize until I was feeling better that I didn’t like it. I asked them to change it, and they agreed, but in the meantime the materials need to launch today. I’m pouting because I don’t really want it to launch but it’s also on me for not catching it earlier.

R: I see

C: So I was talking to you about it, in my head, and you were telling me what you thought. Then you texted me in real life :)

R: That’s hilarious. What did I think in your version?

C: That I should wait for the updated version before launching

R: Mind version of me is smart!

C: But then I said, I don’t know when I’m getting the revision and I have an event tomorrow which means I don’t have the time to start promoting until 2 days from now which feels late because it’s basically one week out from the event.

R: So it is late

C: Technically

R: And did I say go ahead and start promoting with the original version but put your preferred logo on everything in addition to the marketing material?

C: Something similar

R: LOL

C: You said go ahead and promote it on my social media channels and make sure to keep mentioning The Event Life. That way people know my company is involved even though you can’t really see my logo on anything because it’s dumb small.

R: That too. Sheesh, mind me is legit.

C: Yeah girl, we’ve had years of practice. I have conversations with you all the time in my head. I get tired of talking to myself.

R: I love it

C: Word

convo 11

C: Well it's officially the holidays! What are your plans?

R: We are going to my in-laws for Thanksgiving and Chicago with my parents for Christmas. Lots of moving parts when nobody cares about you anymore, only my son. What about you!?

C: It's all about the cutie :) I was headed to Philly for Thanksgiving but my sinus infection had other plans. Thank God for cheesy holiday movies and hot toddies! Christmas I'll be in Atlanta. It feels kind of weird, but nice, to not have a ton of travel coming up.

R: Yeah travel can be great, but can also get old really quickly. So, we all know you had this epic trip for your 40th b-day, is anything hitting you differently this holiday season?

C: Damn that’s a good question. In general, something that’s different is the desire to not do anything that doesn’t align with my spirit. Without guilt, it is what it is, this is what’s best for me.

R: I love that, especially around the holiday time. People are constantly bending over back wards to do what makes others happy, and while I think a certain amount of that is important, it can't always be about what other people want or need, just cause it's Thanksgiving or Christmas. I definitely have been trying to define my boundaries with my son, especially as it pertains to how others interact with him. I set the tone, not you... it's a work in process. LOL So since you are stranded in ATL with this sinus infections (boo) will you be cooking?

C: Boundaries are so important. We shouldn’t force kids to give hugs & kisses, sit on people’s laps, etc if they don’t want to. I might cook a little. I haven’t actually cooked in my kitchen in so long, I’m always on the go. I am however taking all sweet potato pie donations! Ok so now the big question... two things you are most thankful for & you can’t say hubby, baby or family because those are a given.

R: Amen, a lot of people have a hard time understanding that babies are people too, which means they have feelings, even if they can't quite articulate them. OOOOOOHHHHHH, C with the heavy hitting questions. I'm thankful for our ever fruitful relationship, we're always cooking something up.... i'm also thankful for this transition in my life. Things are really coming into focus for me in a way I could have never imagined. So, same question to you?

C: I’m thankful for all the same things! For real, for real. I’m also thankful for growth and finally having true faith over fear.

R: Well faith or fear is a beautiful thing... I am proud of us!

C: Word sis, me too.

convo 10

C:The struggle is real this morning but I had a really good time this weekend. So glad we got together with the girls

R: I know, It was a good weekend, Nashville was such a good choice. It’s crazy this is the 3rd annual “Invite list” girls weekend since my bachelorette party. It’s so awesome how we all came together. We did some really dope things, but my damn knees are feeling really old right about now

C: Didn't we have this conversation about not having Meg THEE Stallion knees? Speaking of old, I love that #WebsiteWednesday falls around your bday :)

R: Wait, did you just call me old?! I'll show you Meg THEE Stallion knees…nope, no I won't (limps away in pain)

C: Hahahaha! Yes, yes I did call you old. And I now emphasize the old because you copied this conversation into the subject line instead of the body of the email ( EDITORS NOTE: we were having this conversation over email, so that should let you know we are both old)

R: That's how the kids are doing it these days. Can we talk about how I actually drank whiskey, neat, for the first time ever this weekend.... Before you call me out, yes I added water…but the experts told me it was ok!

C: We will not discuss the water lol. I’m so proud of you! Trying new things as you go into the next chapter

R: You are really trying to paint me as an old, stodgy grandma... LOLOL… anyway, the distillery that we visited was black owned by a boss woman and her husband. You actually put the group onto it, the distillery celebrates the legacy of Uncle Nearest, the originator of the recipe that Jack Daniels uses to this day. Tell me again how you knew about it?

C: Not painting, just outlining...and I said nothing about stodgy because I don't even know what that means. That owner is my kinda woman! I knew of the place because I drink and I know things and I have friends that drink and know more things. Seriously though, a friend is an ambassador for the Black Bourbon Society. She mentioned it to me and then I tasted it at a black wine and spirits event in Atlanta. You know me and Jack go way back but I will always root for everybody black. I'm just happy the group was down to try it, even though everyone wasn't a whiskey drinker. You have to appreciate a group of bold women who celebrate bold women on the regular

R: mmhmm, outlining...I'll just say, one of us is older than the other. I'm not gonna say who, but I will say it isn't me...🤣 That's right, you do know all the things and all the people! I love that we support each other and all the boss women in our lives! Good stuff!

C: I've been waiting for you to bring that up! I was just thinking we are the same age for 22 days only. The rest of the year you have to respect your elder HAHAHAHA

R: bye

convo 9

R: I'm baaack from vacation, and even more exhausted.

C: Lol it looked busy but like you had a good time! Welcome back.

R: Yes it was, but we had NO down time. Up at 8 the day after we landed, but it was a good trip. Just not really a vacation with an 8 month old. How are you?

C: Damn sis, That’s not a vacay, LOLOL

C: I’m good!

R: Your dad friended me on fb

C: What? When? You don’t have to accept

R: LMAO, I don't care…  A week or 2 ago

C: Hell you might have heard from him more recently than I have

R: Lolol, He’s doing his own thing… he ain’t trying to check in with his daughter

R: Men, he’ll find you when he’s ready, lol

C: Whatcha got going on this week?

R: This company that I interviewed with several months back contacted me to run a digital campaign they needed help with, because instead of hiring me, they hired someone junior who doesn't know how to run a major campaign. They asked me to put a proposal together, so I did. They want someone in an advisor role for 4 months. So I wrote up services etc which was roughly 7k a month... I call myself giving a discount and being a good partner… cause you know it's never a "neat" process. Why did these fools come back and say they were hoping to pay someone 7.5k total 🤯

R: Why did you even bother asking me to write a proposal

C: What the hell?!

C: They bugging

C: To RUN a major campaign?

R: Right

C They can stick to junior

R: They are like we only need you to bounce ideas off of

R: You and I both know that's not a real thing

C: Hell no

C: That’s let me pick your brain & have you do the work but for the low low

R: Exactly

R: Anywho, I am trying to get this baby back on schedule. Get on an exercise routine

R: I have a few calls for potential freelance opps, but I have very low expectations

R What about you?

C: Same sis. Except the baby is me lol.

R: LOLOL

C: Per usual I have a few companies interested in setting up interviews, etc

C: I did my second interview for that company I told you about

C: I have 2 more to go if I move on

C: I’m just hella busy and hella happy

C: Moving with the flow

R: How did 2nd interview go?

C: It went well. The entire panel wasn’t there so I might need another one with the rest of the panel

C: I don’t know

C: It’s a lot of job

C: I will miss the travel but I’ll definitely be busy.

R: Scared of it or just wrapping your head around it?

C: It’s a, I run shit, type of job which is all me

C: Wrapping my head around it

C: Very reminiscent of the my last venue in some respects

R: That's good as long as you own it, you'll be great

C: Thanks lady. I have no doubts I can kill it

C: I just get no real holidays off. It’s corporate but not because I work a venue so to speak that’s open all the damn time

R: Totally

R: Mentally prepare for that ish

C: Yeah it’s gonna be an adjustment

C: You know I love my flexibility

C: But again I love running ish

R: Giiiiiiiirll

R: LOLOL

C: And it’s a significant pay increase

R: Daaaammmmnnn

C: Lol

C: Still not getting excited about nothing but offers but for sure this will help lol

R: I get it

R: I'm the same way

R: As we know things can go sideways quickly

R: Lol

R: We outchea trying to take over the world, the world just needs to let us be great!

C: Word

convo 8

C: Happy 1 year Anniversary! Remember when your grandma suspected we were a couple, lol. Now it's #CTC official.

R: Yay 1 year!! ( 5 hours later) I swear I responded to this in my head. 

C: I bet it was a good response.

R: I think for year 2 we can amp up the plan we have been doing. I'd love to find a way to do an event in the coming months. 

C: I would LOVE an event. Maybe in LA since it's easier for you?

R: Yeah, let’s figure it out. 

C: So I love the McBride Sisters wine and they also do a sparkling wine. They have an amazing story and are opening up a tasting room this fall. Wouldn't it be dope if we did an event with them?

R: Let's figure it out

C: Let's do it. They have an incredible story & have used it to create this woman led, black owned business. They're definitely #CTC material. 

R: I'll reach out, fingers crossed they are open to it... if not there are SOO many other worthy women to spotlight.This is just the beginning.

C: Word

convo 7

C. Hey hot mama! How you doing?

R. I feel like I’m trapped in time

C. I bet it can feel a little like Groundhog Day

R. It is a bit like Groundhog Day, but also just learning and watching him grow every day too

C. Can I get a video of all this cuteness??? I need to see Quinn in action

R. Yeah I need to take more videos….and pictures LOL. I’ll send some

C. Cool beans

R. How are you?

C. Good! Life is quiet, which is new, but I’m enjoying it

R. I’m sure you’ll have more to do than you can plan soon

C. I’m sure. Meanwhile, I’m focused on trips. I’ve decided to go to Ghana AND South Africa this year.

R. Sounds amazing!

C. Yup. I’m planning South Africa myself. No more Tinder!

R. All in due time

C. Word

R. Here’s a photo I took the other day

C. Oh.Em.Gee??!!?? I can’t wait to meet him.

R. Sleeps and eats all day, poops and stays up all night

C. Sounds about right. I’m so proud of you. You’re killing it! Especially during the times when it doesn’t feel like it.

R. And he just pooped on me. TTYL

C. Double Word

convo 6 

C: I was doing my 2019 calendar and my 40th birthday is on a Friday

R: Oh shoot

     Long weekend

     Party hard

C: I feel like I want a party and a trip. I haven't had a bday party in YEARS

R: That would be fun

C: I know, I just don't want to throw it LOL

R: Hahahahaha

C: I know, I know

    That's why I'm on Tinder

    LOL

    I want a bday party Friday night, then trip to Thailand or South Africa leaving Saturday

R:  Wow ok

C: Hahahaha

R: So Tinder is planning this for you? LOL

C: No, I'm on Tinder to find a man that will love me enough to plan a party for me.

     I'll do the trip

R: Ohhhhh ok that makes sense

C:

R: Hahahaha

     I think a few of the girls turn 40 next year too

     All the fabulousness

C: And all the celebrations

R: That too

C: I need to get that boyfriend ASAP so he can throw me my party

R:

C: Word

convo 5

R. But seriously, Van really tried to play us on that JaRule question.

C. Ok! I mean I like a good throwback but damnit it wasn't even Thursday

R. And genuinely, if Jlo, Ashanti or Lil Mo weren't on the track, did he really even have any hits?? IJS

C. HAHAHA right! Seriously though, that was a dope experience, albeit quick. I'm so proud of us LOL

R. Me too! Shout out to Van for making dreams come true... or something like that LOL

C. Word.

Convo 4

C: I am really feeling the Kate Spade & Anthony Bourdain news. I imagine it's impacting a lot of people.

R: Girl. It's so sad. I cried this morning. It's just a sad space. I wish there were more definitive answers and paths to health.

R: It makes me sad for the constant struggle that I know happens internally. I'm learning so much from you all the time.

C: I hope I'm helpful! I cried too. I feel so deeply. I understand the pain. It's ... I'm not sure I have the words. I've said a lot of prayers that's for sure. Lots of talking to God.

R: Yes I am sure, It's a forever push and pull. I pray also all the time!

C: I've been writing a post for the website for a while now on the duality of being black & how it creates these multiple personalities that can lead to mental illness we just aren't discussing as a community and as a whole. I really need to finish it.

R: That's a big topic sis, take the time you need.

C: It is & I will. It's gotta be complete. I don't want to half ass it.

R: Totally!  It is an important topic and like I said I've learned so much from you and our friendship and people need to hear more perspective like yours to better understand the nuance and levels of depression that people deal with. We all have those feelings but not everyone has felt the depths that some easily spiral to.

C: Nothing about it feels easy. You might not even know you're down the rabbit hole until you've hit the bottom. 

C: The thing is some of us may not feel that we have a safe space to tell our story. I'm so happy we started CTC & created that space for people. 

C: I remember discussing a friend's mental health issues with someone close to me, in order to get support in supporting my friend & based on his reaction I knew I could never talk to him about my feelings. Another person close to me laughing in my face, telling me they think I have a problem meanwhile they're a mental health professional and could offer help. Finding out I was being made fun of on social media while I was struggling to just feel like I could breathe again. Thank GOD you are my friend. 

C: I legit thought to myself this week I wasn't supposed to be here. But I made it through. I am standing & thriving. I know how hard it is to get here, to get to the point of thriving and really living again.

R: It's sad, it's just like you said. We are not taught as a community to deal with those emotions, let alone be there for others who are going through it. And obviously YOU ARE supposed to be here. And I honestly hope I've never made you feel that way because I can't directly relate to that level of depression but I hope you know I'll always do what I can to help.

C: I know & I appreciate it. I know it's not easy to focus on yourself & also be there for others. I've been that person too.

R: We're all just figuring it out as we go,  but the good news is there is an ongoing conversation and people are more willing than ever to at least hear about it.

C: Amen to that one.

R:: It will continue to be a work in progress. Well I love you girl , you are needed and necessary to this life.

C: Love you too lady! Thank goodness I bought my powder with me today. I done cried all over this desk & my face is red.

Convo 3

C: Things I forgot to say on the phone.

     1. We didn't finish our next convo for the website.

     2. That boy still hasn't asked me out. #Overit

     3. Love you!

R: 1. True.. it's on me.

    2. He's an idiot.

    3. Love you too!

C: I even posted a thirst trap picture on IG WITH A FILTER to remind him of how fine I am and how he needs to holler. And you KNOW I don't do that. He was the second person to like the pic and still no "Hey big head" text. 

R: HaHaHa , I saw the picture and was like Yaasssss!

C: Thanks sis. I totally get the love for filters now, I felt like, oh let me put some of this good melanin out there in the world because it needs to be shared. 

R: LOL. Do people post without filters?

C: I do all the time.

R: LOL. Always have some sort of color correction or something on.

C: Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong all these years. You know you can swipe left and you can add SnapChat like filters? That's what I used. I sound old. Again. LOL.

R: LMAO

C: This would make a great CTC convo.

R: Indeed it would.

C: Word! I'll post it. #nofilterrequired

Convo 2

C: Oh snap we just launched a website!

R: I know you're thinking...about damn time!

C: That too, but also how naked I feel. Like butt naked in a crowded room.

R: Hmm, I'm not sure if I should say congratulations or put some clothes on?

C: Probable both. LOL. So as long as I don't have to wear a bra.

R: Or pants...they just get in the way. I'm pretty sure this has taken a turn from our original celebrations! We can't ever stay on track.

C: Word. I'm still not wearing a bra though.

Convo 1

C: I think I'm the Kanye of this duo.

R: I don't know what that means.

C: When Kanye and Jay-Z were creating Watch the Throne Jay-Z said, and I paraphrase, he would hear a snare drum and be like "oh yeah that works". Kanye would listen to it and want to hear it 12 times over all with a slight variation. That's me. I'm Kanye.

R: Truth. But it's not that I don't care about the details, but sometimes it is just a snare drum to me, but I will own that.

C: Oh I know. It's not about caring. It's just.... Kanye.

R: Yes you are Kanye.

C: Word. But only when it comes to the snare drum.