Remember When Nancy Pelosi Literally Stood Up To The Bully!
As the first female Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi has withstood her fair share of sexism. When she was first elected in 2007, she became third in line for the presidency and the most powerful person in Congress. With that, there were comments like this one from Rush Limbaugh: “I wonder when she loses next if she'll go back to the kitchen. If her kids and family allowed her to go from the -- what do you bet she hasn't been in the kitchen in a long time anyway?” She was cast as the Wicked Witch in a campaign ad in 2010. Now, as she regained her role as Speaker after the 2018 midterms, she has taken a barrage of misogynistic hits from President Trump and his tweets, as well as conservative commentators.
On Wednesday, October 16th, Speaker Pelosi, along with other House and Senate leaders, went to the White House to discuss with President Trump his withdrawal of troops from Northern Syria. After 40 minutes, Speaker Pelosi and her congressional colleagues left the White House, and the he said/she said about the meeting began. President Trump tweeted the above photo with the caption “Nervous Nancy's unhinged meltdown!.” Turning it all around, the Speaker reclaimed the photo and made it her Twitter background for a little while as it became a rallying cry for every woman who has ever been the only women in a room full of men. A woman in power exercising her right to not only have a seat at the table, but take up actual space at the table…and in the room…and in this whole male-dominated world.
Powerful women have endured sexist behavior and systemic gender bias ever since the first time a woman asker her caveman husband if she could go hunt instead of gather. In no arena have we observed this more than in American politics. As I wrote for CTC in September, hostile sexism is real and women do face structural and institutional barriers to running for office. Much of this explains why there are such large leadership gaps in pretty much ever sector in the American workforce. Women experience interpersonal sexism every day: the request from male colleagues to smile more; the mom shame at the park; being slut shamed; the constant underestimation and challenging from male superiors. These wear on us to the point where we are so desensitized we don’t even know it is happening. Political scientists Jennifer Lawless and Richard Fox call this the “gendered psyche.” How we perceive ourselves is a function of the white, patriarchal capitalistic society in which we are socialized. We are not good enough. We are not qualified enough. We cannot succeed at this or that. It is deep, and it’s real, and it’s insidious. You can’t see it, smell it, or touch it, but it drives everything we do (or don’t do).
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. As a working mother of two young girls, a feminist, a mentor to young women in one of the most critical times of their lives, and a professor who teaches about gender inequity in America, I often reflect on the times I “am” Speaker Pelosi. Like when I make suggestions in meetings and no one listens, but a male colleague says the same thing, is brilliant, and his idea is adopted. Or, again, when I make suggestions and male colleagues have to bounce them off each other as opposed to addressing me directly. When I spoke firmly to a male colleague who was backing me into a corner to shame me for a decision I made and felt judged and guilty for days. The gendered psyche is everywhere…and nowhere. It fuels our imposter syndrome and all our “I’m sorrys.”
There is a scene from the Netflix documentary, Knock Down the House, where Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez gives herself a pep talk before for a televised debate against her old, white, male opponent. At the end of the talk, she waves her arms around and literally takes up space. WE need to take up space. WE need to stand up to the bullies and model this for our friends, sisters, mothers, daughters, and co-workers. But, more importantly, we have to send a message to the patriarchy that we not only deserve space, but we will take it. You may be thinking, “PolySue, you just said this shit is all systemic and deeply embedded? Also, you are a privileged white, straight, cis, educated lady; it’s easier for you.” ALL TRUE. Full stop. There can be retaliation and real-life consequences, especially for those who have the least amount of power, or even access to power.
But here’s what: the patriarchy isn’t going to shatter itself. The system of gendered oppression isn’t going to evaporate. Like any social movement to upend the status quo, it is incumbent upon the oppressed, and their allies, to TAKE UP THE SPACE. And when Speaker Pelosi unapologetically claps back at President Trump, calls out sexism when she sees it and feels it, and in her electric blue suit stands up and leans in during a meeting of all old, white men, our gendered psyches are chipped away a bit, we take up a some more room, and we give a few less fucks.
Author: Suzanne Chod